SQ: Melanie, thank you very much for this opportunity to share your story. What inspired you to create this book?

MV: I was actually asked to write it by my editor at Running Press. Running Press took their raw idea to the Sinclair Intimacy Institute, and they signed on to it. Then, Running Press found me to write it. Even though Sinclair has co-authorship, they contributed very little to the manuscript and gave me almost carte blanche. 

SQ: What is the book’s basic premise? 

MV: The book is primarily for couples who need ways to keep the spark alive when time is of the essence. So many couples complain that between work, kids, and other obligations, they don't have time for each other. So, my goal was to create something fun that would allow them to re-connect romantically and sexually. Some of the ideas in the book can be accomplished quickly and with minimal effort and time. Other ideas in the book are for longer, luxurious times together. There are suggestions for every type of couple – the ones who just want to try something a little bit new, as well as those who want to “push the envelope”. But, essentially, the book's premise is that a tired sex life should be an oxymoron! 

SQ: At Amazon.com a customer describes your book as “bright, sensual, and funny”. The Book Description states it contains “52 quick and fun ideas, tips, and techniques for busy couples, plus a dozen suggestions for more leisurely approaches to lovemaking – each designed to inspire tremendous sensual creativity”. What has been the overall reader reaction? 

MV: I haven't had a chance to do readings and “meet the readers” yet. However, the book sold-out of its first prints to stores within a week of its release – and I understand many book stores are sold-out of copies already. So, if that's an indication, it must be hitting home with people – I think the fact that it's a kit distinguishes it from other sex books. And, it has a low price compared to other kits. The second printing should be ready in early June! 

SQ: Your book seems to have all the elements for a best-seller. How long did it take you to write the book and did you hire an editor? 

MV: No, I didn't have to hire an editor because I had an editor at Running Press. I'm pleased to say she didn't alter the original manuscript very much. I spent two and a half months writing the text to "52 Weeks" then spent a bit more time writing four of the erotic stories that are in "The Erotica Reader" contained in the kit. 

SQ: What credentials were needed for Running Press to accept it for publication?

MV: I believe Deborah Grandinetti, the editor at Running Press, came to me because she knows I have a very positive attitude toward sex and an ability to write about it in a fun, titillating way. Additionally, I had written erotic poetry and fiction. I also take my obligation to my readers very seriously. Deborah knew I would be dedicated to giving readers something positive, fun, and educational. This was in keeping with her vision, as well as that of the Sinclair Intimacy Institute.

SQ: Is there a chance you would be willing to share a writing sample from the book, one you feel best exemplifies the book’s overall premise?

MV: Here are two short samples. The first is from the introduction, written in a more serious style than the book’s main content. The second sample is my personal favourite of the book’s ideas – it's the first one of the 52 ideas I completed, actually! (Please note although "Candy Kisses" is one "especially for him from her", there are plenty of ideas in the book for men to lavish on ladies.)

"THE DEMANDS OF TIME

The moment the demands of everyday life infringe upon creative lovemaking, you need to take the reins of your relationship and renew your commitment to it. If not, time can spin out of your control, and the connection between you and your beloved can wane. Without a commitment to make your intimate time sacred and important, the relationship – or certainly your passion for each other – can easily fall apart.

Quite often, couples have control over their sexuality and no control over their time. You need to rethink this. You need to be in charge of how you spend your time, and you need to be able to let go of control sexually and surrender to your passion with your lover. Eroticism is precisely so compelling to us because of its refusal to be controlled. There is something about surrendering regularly to something that defies logic and reason – the mainstays of our lives – that renews us."

* * *

"CANDY KISSES

Especially for Him with love from Her

You may be rushed in the morning, but there's always time for some loving attention to your man's candy cane. Or rather, to bring his candy cane to attention.

Print a message on the bathroom mirror with bright red lipstick which reads, "Don't forget your goodbye kisses before you leave!" Then, as your partner is dressing, apply the lipstick generously to your lips. (Take the stick with you for reapplication, if necessary.) When he comes to pick up his kisses, bypass his mouth, and run your hands down his chest and thighs as you kneel in front of him. Stare in his surprised eyes as you unzip his pants, and remove his penis. Plant luscious red lip prints all over his shaft and head. Place his penis back in his pants, and send him off to work. He'll have a smile on his face (and his penis) all day!

Of course, this is best on a day when he doesn't have to land that multi-million dollar account. He will be gloriously distracted. Remember to allow time for his penis to "be at ease" again before he has to leave. When he gets home in the evening, your mouth and tongue can finish where your lips left off!"
(Copyright 2004) 

SQ: Delicious thanks – I have plans to “candy kiss” my husband this coming week! In what ways do you market the book? Which ways have worked best?

MV: Marketing is always difficult with small publishers because you need to do a great deal of it yourself. And, with the demands of other writing projects, it's definitely a challenge. I'm talking to you and trying to get my name out there. I currently have a course proposal based on the book pending with The Learning Annex in New York. It's hard to pinpoint what works and what doesn't, so I take a "do everything I can think of" attitude – press releases, interviews. Everything I do for this book gets my name out there for future projects as well.

SQ: You must be doing something right since your book has sold so well – do you have a literary agent?

MV: Yes, as I mentioned before, this book has sold amazingly well to the stores. We don't yet have definitive consumer-sale numbers since it was just released in late January. I don't have a literary agent, but I'm looking for one! I have a couple of proposals I'm working on at the moment and would love to have an agent sell them for me. I haven't yet submitted these to agents, though. 

SQ: Agents take note! Possible best-seller needs an agent! (Smiles) Do you support yourself financially through writing? 

MV: Besides books, I'm vigorously pursuing magazines. This is a new focus for me, and I'm really excited about it. I am a corporate writer: speeches, web copy and brochures. I teach spirituality courses. I have two meditation CD's and am a nature photographer. (I sell my photographs from a website.) So, I have many irons in the fire. 

SQ: Do you have other publications in the works? If so, please share descriptions!

MV: There's another book with Running Press and The Sinclair Intimacy Institute that I will begin later in the year. My editor tells me Sinclair is very excited to have me write another book with them. I don't know if I'm at liberty to discuss the details. I have written a tarot deck and have begun a book for creative people. I won't get any more specific than that since they aren't completed. Otherwise, I'm working on tons of magazine article ideas and have an idea for a children's story that I'm dying to find the time to start. Despite writing the very adult book we're discussing here, I love children and spend a lot of time with them. So, I think I would be able to do some really fun stories for them. 

SQ: Is there an author that influences your writing? If so, who?

MV: Since I've written on so many subjects and am an extensively published poet, there are different influences in different areas. As far as non-fiction, I can't say I'm influenced by anyone in particular. Writers on sexuality would include David Steinberg and Susie Bright. When it comes to poetry, I'm tremendously influenced by David Whyte, Galway Kinnell, Sharon Olds, Mary Oliver, and Rumi. 

SQ: Would you consider yourself a successful author / writer? Why or why not? 

MV: I feel successful when I finish a project, but in terms of my career goals, I have a long way to go. Things are happening, though, and I'm excited about the possibilities.

SQ: You do have many avenues opening. What advice can you give aspiring authors regarding publishing a first book?

MV: Since all five of my books "fell into my lap", so to speak, I may not be the best person to answer this question. However, I occasionally edit books for first-time authors and receive lots of questions from writers who find my website. Most of them have done little or no study about the business of writing a book. They don't understand the process of writing a proposal and getting an advance in order to have the money to write the book. So, my advice is:
(1) Join a writer's group to hone your craft.
(2) Read about the business. It's not enough to have a good product; you must have a market for the product. 
I also suggest hiring an editor before submitting a proposal or manuscript to a publisher or literary agent. You need other eyes to help you see the flaws in your work because there are always flaws! 

SQ: Is there any information / websites you would like to add to this interview? 

MV: Yes, people can read about my work at http://www.RuletheWord.com – my teaching and meditation CDs are listed at http://www.MelanieVotaw.com which contains self-help articles and an advice column. My nature photography, some of which is included in my book Hummingbirds: Jewels On Air, can be viewed at http://www.VotawPhotography.com 

SQ: Thank you Melanie, for sharing your incredibly inspiring story with firstwriter.com.

MV: Thank you, Sara, for spending this time with me!